Letter to my children

Here I am; your mother! What a blessing this has turned out to be!

I had this idea of who I thought you would turn out to be, and you’ve all surpassed my imaginings!

Under the circumstances of our life, nothing could have ever prepared me for the miraculous journey of motherhood.

Goodness knows how overbearing I have been at times. You know I can be a bull-dog when it comes to having my way in certain situations. In my defence, I think you’re pretty good people!

I want to let you know why I held you to a different standard:

The world is a changing place.

It is different to the world I grew up in.

I had a lot of fear in how to prepare you for the day you’d venture into your life without my being there to guide you.

So this is the method in my utter madness as your mom:

BE CURIOUS:

Question EVERYTHING. Understand that nothing is permanent. Definitely question what goes out there in the world. But what I am directing you to do is – question yourself. Question your beliefs. Question your reason for doing what you do, and if it no longer resonates as something true, you have an obligation to change it for yourself.

INTELLIGENT:

Holding the belief that people you interact with are “intelligent” will open a door.

It lets them know that it is ok to raise their standard of thinking. This, in turn, raises their standards of thinking in operating and living.

I have never held back in engaging in intelligent conversations or taking the opportunity to think of life in unconventional ways. Our lives spring from our thoughts and manifest in actions. But always remember, your intelligence lies not only in your mind, but in your heart.

HEARTFELT:

There is NO sense in holding back. Go at LIFE with vigor and give it all you’ve got! Otherwise you rob other people of their attention and energy. And getting crumbs is worse than not getting anything at all. You would expect the same from others, so hold yourself to that standard first. Regret or guilt will never find a home in your heart. You will know without a doubt when someone is being disingenuous.

PASSION:

What makes you want to jump out of bed, and celebrate your very ability to breathe and live? Do that – in every way you can, when you can. Passion doesn’t mean you have to earn a living from it. It is your gift to give to the world and you can do that anytime, anywhere. Don’t get lost in that your passion will be one thing all your life. It will be many things in different areas of your life, at different stages of your life. We create the meaning in our lives through our passions – our purpose.

DECIDE:

Learn to make good decisions. This is the gateway to living life the “right” way. The right way is very narrow, and is difficult to pass through, but once you “get” it, the way becomes clear. Make sure each of your decisions are ‘sustainable’. This means they are good for you, good for the people around you and good for the greater whole. It’s easy to become distracted in this world that is always vying for your attention and your money. Don’t get seduced – hold true to your path.

STANDARD:

Don’t be complacent with your time on this earth. Thinking that “anything goes” is a recipe for people to take advantage of your goodness.

Strong orientation to your values and principals is knowing where your boundaries lie. You will know what you will accept into your life, how you let others treat you and how you will treat others. It’s true, we teach people how to treat us. If you don’t make the effort to set a standard that you hold yourself to, you will find those lines crossed. All is not lost, because you can draw the line in the sand anytime.

RESILIENCE:

This is one of my favourite words. You know this. It is the primary reason for my approach to parenting. I cannot predict how the world will look in years to come, but I can build resilience into each of you. I can teach you that despite the world, you have the tools within you to handle it all.

You’ve got this.

If you don’t think so, re-read the list above.

I did not include “education” as part of your intelligence, or how you make money as a primary goal in life. These things will come to find a place in your lives one way or another, and will change over the course of your lives.

You are not defined by the work you perform or the amount of education you’ve had.

Your value is not determined by these things either.

Motherhood is the most stunning experience of my life. It is the greatest gift while it is bittersweet, as I witness you launch into your own lives.

Love you sweet punks oxox

always in the deepest gratitude

Mom